


Where I Want To Be

by Kunfetti



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate reality au, M/M, Matt centric, Post S6, So not canon compliant, Time Travel AU, because i made a mistake and decided that i like it better this way, but not big parts, haggar and matt have a lot to learn about themselves and each other, haggar centric, its not too bad or graphic, listen, so if thats what youre looking for, the castle did not get destroyed in this fic, the other paladins are in this, there is no romantic or platonic relationship between matt and haggar, this is not the fic you want, tw broken bones, tw burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-11 01:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15304722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunfetti/pseuds/Kunfetti
Summary: Haggar and Matt find themselves in an alternate reality where Haggar will stop at nothing to get back and Matt's along for the ride.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story would not have happened if it wasn't for the constant and wonderful encouragement of [Silverine](https://silverineontherun.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Also, [Eilera](http://tsuki-san16.tumblr.com/) beta read this and made it readable. I can't thank you both enough for your endless support.

The staff whistles in the air as Matt swings it, the head of a Galran sentry falling heavily to the floor on impact. The vibration of metal on metal reverberates the bottom of his feet, despite the thick boots he wears. He takes a deep breath, wiping the sweat from his brow. His teams has been going all morning trying to take control of the command center on Haggar’s main ship and he can almost taste their victory. 

 

Just a week after Lotor’s demise, Keith decided that with Lotor out of the picture, and Haggar’s three generals MIA, this would be the best time to strike with Voltron. Matt assembled the rebels and after Allura, Coran, and Keith organized a reasonable plan to take Haggar out of the picture, they moved out. 

 

With the last of the sentries gone for now, Matt goes back to the central computer, but stops to look out the window of the bridge. The ship is up in flames and it clashes with the peaceful serene calm of the vastness of space surrounding them. Voltron is fighting in the sky, a blur of color and flame against Haggar’s Frankenstein monsters. The paladins seem to be holding their own, and with the little bit of security knowing they’re okay, Matt returns his attention to the computer. 

 

“Olia, where are we with the satellite?” He asks tensely, typing away as he inputs his own virus in to the machine. All he needs is to override the computer mainframe when his team destroys the satellite relay station and they will have control of the ship. 

 

Olia’s response cuts through his ear, “Nearly there.” 

 

“That’s what she said,” He says factitiously despite the seriousness of the situation as Olia’s barking laugh reaches him, “I need an ETA.”

 

“A few minutes out. Watch the skies, it will be raining fire.” She says before she cuts out. He blows out a deep breath before turning to look out the window again from behind the computer. His position on the bridge gives enough of a view that he can almost see all around the ship. Voltron flies by, passing the window in a blur. Haggar’s beasts are no match for Voltron and they fall easily against it’s mighty sword. The witch sent the beasts as soon as they showed up but Keith has rallied the paladins in a way that even to Matt’s untrained eye, knows Voltron is stronger than ever.  But as soon as the thought passes over his mind, he’s hit with a stabbing sense of guilt. He knows that Keith is an excellent leader and he deserves the position of Black Paladin, but he also knows how much being a paladin meant to Shiro. 

 

_ Shiro _ . 

 

Just thinking of him causes him pause and he opens a private channel, “Hey Shiro, you there?”

 

“I’m here. What do you need?” Shiro replies, voice calm through the comms but Matt knows that his immediate reply means Shiro is hiding his worry behind his voice of professionalism. It’s another thing to feel guilty for. After everything he’s been through, it was decided that he would remain on the castleship where he would be the eyes of the operation despite protests that he should rest. Shiro was having none of that, and wouldn’t concede until he was given an integral part on the mission. The catch: he had to stay on the bridge.  

 

“I just need to hear your voice.” He breathes out, reassurance at actually hearing Shiro’s voice causing the stress to ease from his shoulders, “How are things on the outside?” He asks, making use of him. Shiro’s pride wouldn’t let him outwardly show it, but he would be disappointed if no one conferred with him on such an important mission.   

 

There is a sound over the comm, like Shiro has dropped all his weight into a chair before a breathy sigh is exhaled, “Voltron and the sky rebels are pushing the Galran forces back and taking out the robeasts one by one. No sign yet of Haggar or her druids but it’s only a matter of time before she’s backed into a corner.”

 

That’s a relief. Things are going as well as they appeared a moment before when he looked out the window. It’s a strange feeling, finally knowing they have a win under their belts. 

 

“Shiro, can you believe that we’re so close to ending this war? Haggar is finally going to pay for what she’s done the past ten thousand years. She’s going to pay for what she’s done to you.” He tells Shiro with conviction. If anyone deserves peace, it’s Shiro. 

 

Matt was never a violent person, choosing to use his brains to work himself out of trouble. It worked in the garrison, and it’s worked after his capture from the Galra. It’s how he stayed alive being alone in the communications outpost so long but he can’t lie to himself. If he had a chance to make Haggar pay for what she put him through, what she put Shiro through, he wouldn’t hesitate. 

 

“Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” Shiro says calmly like he’s reading the quote out of a book and deep down, Matt knows he’s right. Shiro’s always right about these sorts of things but that doesn’t lessen the very real need he has to watch Haggar get what she deserves. 

 

“--satellite is down--”

 

“--Do you -- a visual?”

 

“Hang on Shiro, the sky rebels are making contact,” Matt tells him as he looks out the window again. He can see the fiery shards of the satellite flying through space like projectiles, “Good job, I’ll have the base under our control in just a few minutes.” He relays back. 

 

“Roger that, see you at the rendezvous point.” Olia says before the line goes out and he can see the sky rebels flying away. 

 

Matt launches his virus and types in command after command to get the system under his control completely. It will take the program a few minutes to install and the anticipation as the status bar inches closer to 100% makes Matt’s heart pound. This is what they’ve been waiting for. This is what they’ve suffered for. 

 

And it’s all about to end. Right here. 

 

They will be able to go home. Katie and himself, everyone, will be able to see their families. When he was younger, all he dreamed about was living among the stars. Now he dreams about seeing his parents, seeing trees and oceans. He wants to take the time to listen to the birds sing and eat at that Thai place he always wanted to try but never went to. 

 

Earth’s atmosphere is so close he can almost taste it. 

 

He also...he wants to have a family of his own. 

 

If  this war has taught him anything it’s that life is too short. And for his young age, he has already been through so much. He thought his life had peaked on Kerberos but now, after years of fighting against a tyrannical maniac he’s learned a thing or two. And he’s lived more than he ever thought he would. Now he just wants to rest and surround himself with the people he loves. 

 

“Shiro, you still there?” 

 

“Yeah, how’s the upload coming?”

 

“Almost finished,” He says, as the loading bar reaches 98%. There is a clatter outside the door and Matt kneels behind the console. He peeks around and what he sees freezes him to the core. 

 

It’s Haggar and she’s on the run. 

 

He places his fingers on the com on his ear, whispering low, “Shiro, I have eyes on Haggar.”

 

“What?”, He replies, “Are you sure?”

 

“Yes, it’s definitely her.” Matt says, slowly and quietly moving to the door, kneeling down to stay out of sight. 

 

“Stay where you’re at. I’ll contact Voltron.” Shiro says, all professionalism back in play. 

 

“There’s no time, Shiro,” He tells him, watching as Haggar runs down a corridor, “I’m going to follow her.”

 

“Matt, don’t you dare. You can’t win against her.”   
  


“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” He deadpans knowing that Shiro doesn’t mean what he said in disregard to Matt skills. 

 

‘I'm serious Matt, wait for backup.”

 

“Too late.” Matt sneaks around the corner, walking low and on the balls of his feet. Haggar enters a room with a only a small bridge leading to a what Matt can only assume is some sort of transmutation pad for her weird magic. He slowly crawls into the room, his hands acting as a guide as he trails them along the wall. He can’t take his eyes off of her. If he does, he knows he will lose his chance. His free hands grips his staff at his side tightly. He knows he can’t take her, but if push comes to shove he can at least hold her off long enough for Voltron to reach him. He takes a step forward, but a concerned stern voice stops him in his tracks. 

 

“Matthew, stop.” 

 

For a moment, Matt has forgotten how to breathe. He licks his dry lips. He can imagine Shiro at the ship’s console, hands planted firmly against the panel and he breathes heavily. When focused, Shiro’s brow crinkles in a way Matt thinks is the cutest thing but now isn’t the time to think about that because suddenly, he’s terrified. Their relationship has been tremulous. They were colleagues, friends, boyfriends. Then they were ripped apart and tortured. Matt remembers mourning Shiro in a dark time he doesn’t like to revisit. 

 

Then they were reunited but a war still kept them apart. Shiro didn’t want to commit to a relationship in the middle of a war and then he finds out that  _ that Shiro _ wasn’t even actually Shiro and he had been living with a lie. Nows he’s back and his hair’s white and Matt hasn’t even told Shiro he loves him. Looking upon Haggar, walking eerily along the bridge, he wonders if this will be his last chance and he curses whatever it was in the universe that held the proverbial carrot in front of the horse's mouth then let it die of hunger. 

 

“I don’t want to lose you again.” Shiro whispers desperately between them, one lover to the other and Matt takes a step back. The weight of Shiro’s words hold him back but he can hear the rebels in his comms like background noise. They’re yelling and screaming and trying their damndest to save the day and Matt thinks of all the people that he’s saved, all the people he’s trying to save, and he knows he can’t let her escape. 

 

“I have to, Shiro. If she gets away...we may not get another chance like this.” He’s panting, his brain urging him one way while his heart urges him the other. There’s a tightness in his chest and an ache in his head and he already knows what he’s going to choose. 

 

“Please Matthew,” Shiro tries again. Shiro has never had to beg Matt for anything and with the use of his full name, he can feel his heart crack, “Let Voltron handle it.” The plea in his voice, it settles in Matt's gut until he feels nauseous. 

 

“I have to...“ He tries to reason. This is the closest they have ever gotten to taking the witch down. Once she’s out of the picture, the war will finally be over. That is a chance that he can’t pass on, not when he’s this close. He peeks around the corner again, and spots Haggar performing a ritual, opening a portal that looks awfully familiar to the ones Allura makes,  “She’s making a wormhole!”

 

Matt runs. His heart pounds in his chest and his legs burn with exertion. It happens in slow motion, he presses the button that will release his staff and he launches it  like a lance at Haggar. She must sense it coming because she turns quickly and smacks his staff away. It clatters against the floor, out of reach. 

 

“You!” She growls and her voice alone sends chills down his spine. 

 

“You won’t get away this time, witch.” He goads yet he is aware of two things. One, that he just lost his main weapon and it’s fallen out of range for his magnetic recall to pull it back. No matter, he’s confident in his hand to hand combat and he has small pocket knives and a rebel registered pistol on his person. Second, Shiro is frantically calling his name in his ear, a distraction he appreciates but doesn’t need and he does best to ignore. 

 

It’s a standoff for a moment, Matt standing definitively with his fists raised, Haggar mirroring his stance. Her hands are out in front of her and Matt knows those are her greatest weapon. He’s spent countless hours under those cold malicious hands during his imprisonment. But he’s a different person now. He’s stronger and he doesn’t need to hide behind others to hold his ground. 

 

It’s on this thought that he moves in, striking with a fist where her head is. She anticipates this, and disperses, appearing behind him. Her hands crackle with lighting but he rolls away, throwing two of his knives in her direction. He’s close enough now that he recalls his staff, as the weight of it at his side is comforting but Haggar disperses again, and he searches all around him. Her manic laugh echos off the walls and Matt wills his blood to stop rushing in his ears. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. What is it that Shiro used to always tell Keith? Patience yields focus? 

 

He scans the surrounding area, looking for any sign of motion disturbance that will alert him to where Haggar will materialize. There is nothing for a few moments and he realizes that she’s toying with him. She’s trying to psych him out so he drops his guard. Too bad for her he’s  _ Matthew Holt: _ above small tricks of distraction. 

 

“Voltron is on the way. Matt? Matt are you there?” Shiro asks behind a deep breath over the comm. Matt raises his hand to his ear piece, ready to reply, when out of the corner of his eye Haggar appears and attacks. 

 

He doesn’t move in time and her lighting hits him on the side of his face. The smell of burning flesh and hair is thick in the air. The pain is unlike anything he’s felt beforehand and he falls to his knees. Gingerly, he brushes his fingertips over the now rough surface of his skin, the barely there touch of his fingers causing him to cry out. The skin of his temple is tight and his ears ring. He tries to stand back up, but his body doesn’t move right. His vision is blurry and his right eye clouds over. He can barely make out Shiro’s cries of worry in his ears but he can’t let this stop him. If he stops, Haggar wins. Despite his body’s protests, he steadies himself. Haggar has opened the portal in his distress. It emits a violet light, casting shadows over Haggar and she looks even more ominous than usual. 

 

“Shiro,” He whispers, not sure if he can hear him anymore, “I’m sorry.” It’s breathy and he doesn’t know if it’s even coherent but with resolve he glares at Haggar, taking a running stance, “I’ll see you again, I promise.”

 

The bridge falls away, his vision tunneling and locking on to Haggar. She’s about to step through the wormhole but he can make it, he can push his body to it’s limit if he has to. 

 

Everything happens at once. His body collides with her, knocking them both off the pad. She’s yelling and wriggling in his arms, trying to loosen his hold on her. He hears Shiro scream his name. Her long nails dig into his forearms but he doesn’t let go. The last thing he is aware of is falling through space holding on for dear life as the witch opens another wormhole. 


	2. Chapter 2

It’s the foreign feeling that eases her out of unconsciousness. It’s something she hasn’t felt in a long time.

 

Pain.

 

Mentally, she takes a quick assessment of the pain. It’s centered at the base of her ulna and radius. _A Distal Radius fracture,_ her mind supplies. She won’t be able to do much with a broken wrist but she is still formidable even short one arm.

 

There is something else. A threatening presence above her prone body and she opens her eyes to find enraged, violent amber eyes upon her.

 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you.” He growls at her, thrusting his pistol closer to her face. She screams as she uses her magic to throw him away from her. He slams hard into a boulder, falling to his knees.

 

“You have been a thorn in my side since your capture.” She hisses, looking down on him as she rights herself to stand. She should be the one asking why _she_ shouldn’t kill _him_ but a far off memory of a child crying refocuses her. She has a mission and Fugitive Prisoner 117-9876 will not get in her way.

 

“And whose fault is that?” He spits back, coming to stand tall once again. He doesn’t raise his weapon at her and she in turn doesn’t guard herself for battle. If she were a lesser creature she’d roll her eyes at the impudence of this little brat. However, she is an all-powerful sorceress and she will not let the dull snaps of an infant species derail her from her mission.

 

To pull Lotor, her _son_ , out of the quintessence field before the reverse polarity inside de-ages Lotor until there is nothing left.

 

Haggar struggles to her feet, and examines her arm. It’s swollen and bloody, which is unfortunate because it will set her plans back until it heals. Without even looking in the direction of the human, she takes in her surroundings. They’re in some sort of clearing at the base of a mountain line. The soil has a reddish tint with pockets of gray patches strewn throughout the flatland. It seems oddly familiar and there is a memory stirring in the back of her mind.

 

She shakes it off, there is no time for that.

 

Off in the distance there is a towering palace. Dangerous to be sure, especially if the local population is volatile. However, she has complete confidence in her abilities to keep out of sight to steal some medical supplies and find out where in space she’s ended up.

 

“Where are we?”

 

Haggar hears the earthlings voice but it barely registers. There is something about this place, something that draws her mind back to memories long lost. It happens unabridged, regardless to her protests. A memory is pulled from the deepest recesses of her mind. She remembers a comet as it strikes the planet. She remembers how she used to work studiously as Honerva, trying to uncover the secrets of quintessence. Zarkon is there, his confidence in her abilities strong and hopeful. They talk about how her research could change the lives of every living species in the known universe. They dream of how they can raise the Galran race to new advancements and growth. They imagine their future together, ruling side by side in a time of enlightenment.

 

The memories are gone as soon as they have transpired and Haggar’s breath quakes. The onslaught of memories since her healing in Oriande are ruthless and unforgiving and nearly always unexpected.

 

She pushes forward, pulling her hood down and letting the sun kiss her blemished skin. She knows this place. Daibazaal’s temperature in the spring was always lovely and now that she has a chance to experience it once again, she takes advantage.

 

“Where are you going?” 117-9876 asks as she walks by him in the direction of the palace. He is not vital to her mission and therefore an insignificant speck on her radar.

 

“Hey, don’t ignore me.” He yells and something heavy lands at her feet. The urge to hurl lighting at him is strong but Haggar knows she must conserve her energy if she is to wormhole her way back home.

 

“Throwing stones is barbaric, even for your species.” She says, unsure why she is even entertaining him.

 

“I’m not letting you out of my sight.” 117-9876 swears, walking up and jerking her by the shoulder to face him. She slowly eyes the place where his hand touched her shoulder and scowls at him in return, but he doesn’t back down in the face of her boiling hatred, “You’re injured and you need supplies…” His voice trails off and he looks towards the palace before looking back to her. He seems to be puzzling something in his mind as he stares at her and Haggar finds it unsettling. His eyes are hard and criticizing but whatever he was working through in his mind he must have solved because not a second later his eyes soften and he says, “Let’s work together.”

 

The sound she makes at his suggestion catches in her throat and Haggar has no idea why this boy gets under her skin and makes her _feel_ things she’s not used to feeling. If this feeble creature thinks he can keep up with her, he has another thing coming.

 

 _Yet, he survived months of torture and experiments under your own hands and is still alive to tell the tale_ , her traitorous mind supplies.

 

“What could you possibly help me with?” She asks. Maybe she needs to give him more credit. The three humans in her capture have proven resilient and stubbornly hard to kill. Even the elder of the three lived to make an escape from Zarkon.  

 

“I’m going to assume your injury prevents you from creating wormholes, otherwise you’d have already done it. Which means you need another way to get back. The palace ahead probably has ships but you won’t be able to pilot a ship without the use of both of your hands. Admit it, you need my help.” He finishes, crossing his arms over his chest smugly.

 

Haggar’s lip raises in disgust. The brat is right. There are too many variables in piloting a ship that would require the use of both her hands and in her current condition they’d be near impossible. Her magic is limited in her current state and besides being able to defend herself, her connection to quintessence has been cut off, meaning she has limited reserves on her power.

 

She has no other options left.

 

“Stay out of my way, 117-9876.” She concedes wondering how her life gone from being on top to rock bottom? Oh right, it was because her prisoners can’t _stay_ prisoners and unlike regular prisoner fashion, broke out of captivity and started ruining all her carefully constructed plans by becoming paladins of Voltron and rebel delinquents.

 

“My name is Matt.” He replies, brows burrowed. His face looks as if it’s torn between a terrible memory and confidence where he tries to stand up for himself. Haggar assumes it’s because his identification number is linked to his time in their captivity but she would rather set one of her robeasts on herself than call him anything besides 117-9876.

 

She pushes onward, hearing his heavy footfalls behind her. As they travel the barren land towards the palace, Haggar thinks what she knows of her long lost prisoner.

 

She remembers hearing word that Fugitive 117-9875 brutally cut him down in his thirst for blood. Better for him in the long run she supposed because he would have solidified his weakness in the arena, however, when he was moved to the work camps he turned out to be surprisingly resilient. He had proven himself by learning quickly and his efficiency caught Haggar’s eye. She thought he would be a good candidate for her more delicate experiments but then the rebels attacked the prison ship and broke him out.

 

Of course, not before taking some very important, irreplaceable Galran information and tech, leading to the bounty on his head. Haggar should kill him just for his insolence. She turns slightly, looking over her shoulder to catch him behind her, a deadly but reluctant acceptance in his eye. It makes sense that he wants to kill her but it’s his humanity that will keep him from doing so. There is a sour taste in her mouth knowing that he needs her just as much as she currently needs him. No matter,  she will dispose of him as soon as she gets what she needs.

 

The soft dirt below them starts to harden the closer they get to the palace and as soon as Haggar takes in the familiar surroundings she stops in her tracks. She doesn’t know how she didn’t connect the dots before. She knows this place, from her memories. They’re hazy but seeing the structure in front of her crystalizes the memory and she can make out the Galran Royal Palace, just as she remembers it. To her left is the gardens, where she used to spend her time going over Altean texts when her experiments went in an undesired direction. It was where Zarkon had come to enjoy her company and distract her when she indulged a little too far into her work. It was a time that was perfect, before her and Zarkon’s exposure to quintessence. Before the fall of the comet Alfor would turn into the universe's greatest weapon.

 

It was a time before Daibazaal was a dead rock in space.

 

It was a place she called home.

 

A commotion to her left, towards the entrance of the palace draws her attention and she is rudely jerked away by the rebel to a nearby boulder.

 

“Stay down.” He hisses and Haggar slaps his hands off of her shoulders.

 

“Don’t touch me!” She bites.

 

“Be quiet, look.” He tells her, not looking or bating back. His intense gaze is what draws her eyes.

 

The sight before her catches her breath. It’s Zarkon, though he is untouched by quintessence. He looks young yet strong and there is a small child running at his feet.

 

Her heart stutters in her chest at seeing the small boy. After regaining her memories, she’d recognize that small child anywhere. It’s Lotor, yet he is smiling and laughing. All Haggar can remember of him when he lived on Zarkon’s main ship was how he looked upon her in hatred and fear. Not even with his father was he as happy and loving as the child now looking upon Zarkon fondly in front of them.

 

She has to get closer.

 

A staff suddenly appears in front of her, stopping her from advancing. Her eyes follow its length to the source: a sour-faced brown haired human.

 

“Where do you think you’re going? I’m not letting you anywhere near Zarkon.” 117-9876 warns.

 

“You fool, look around you. That is not the same Zarkon from our timeline. We are standing on sacred Galran soil,” Haggar tells him, glancing back at her lost husband and son with an unfamiliar longing in her chest, “This is Daibazaal.”

 

“Wait wait, our timeline? Are you telling me you brought us to a different reality?”

 

“Daibazaal is a dead planet. This one is very much alive.” She says as she turns to look around. There is something stirring inside her, something else she’s long forgotten. Daibazaal is thriving under the gracious guidance of her husband. Seeing Zarkon, alive and well, clearly ruling as Emperor as intended fills her with an almost tangible yearning. Lotor, by his side, so full of life. Her heart breaks for what she could have had as it fills with an unbreakable force Haggar is sure even the universe couldn’t replicate.

 

She realizes that she _needs_ this life. Zarkon is out of her reach, but Lotor is still very much able to be back in her arms again. All she has to do is get him out of the quintessence field without the interference of Voltron. She looks at Matt, studies him. Lotor’s rejection of her still stings but this boy may be the key to making sure she gets Lotor back and make him see reason. She just needs to figure out a way to get on his good side.

 

“I have a proposal,” she says suddenly, “In order to get back to our timeline, I will need you to build a device that can stabilize my powers to open the correct wormhole.”

 

“What?!“ He screams and Haggar crosses her arms at his exaggeration, “And how do you expect me to do that without any supplies or blueprints?”

 

“I’m sure Zarkon’s empress will have everything we need in her lab.” She tells him confidently. Zarkons empress, is of course herself and who would know what’s in her lab better than her?

 

“So we’re going to just walk right in there and take what we want? What if we get caught?”

 

“Leave that to me.”


	3. Chapter 3

The walk back to where they originally landed is quiet. Too quiet for Matt’s liking but if he were being honest he doesn’t really know what to say to the corrupted woman in front of him. In fact, he’s actually more impressed with his restraint. He’s wanted to take her out at every opportunity but Shiro’s words always come back to shut down any drive he would have:  _ Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. _

 

Despite their differences, they both work in silence to create a makeshift camp. There’s not much in the sense of vegetation on this desert planet but they make due. He’s managed to put together a sturdy structure that acts as cover from the beating rays of Daibazaal’s sun with some thin, flat stones he found nearby. Haggar has, well, he’s not really sure what she’s collected. She hands him one and he eyes it carefully before taking it. It’s brown and as big as his hand, yet soft and fuzzy. He looks back to Haggar, who has taken a seat on a boulder across from him and he watches as she bangs her own brown ball on a rock. It cracks open and she starts to eat out of it. 

 

_ It’s desert fruit _ , he thinks to himself. He mimics her, cracking the thin shell of his own fruit. Inside, it’s yellow and the thick juice is green. He makes a face; this is the least appetizing thing he’s ever seen. Matt looks back up at Haggar, who is watching him as she eats her own fruit. It’s obviously not poison since she’s eating the same thing. His stomach chooses just that time to remind him how hungry he is with a loud grumble he’s sure Haggar hears from where she sits. 

 

_ What have I got to lose? _ he thinks as he scrunches his eyes shut and takes a small bite.  His eyes pop open and he’s pleasantly surprised at how the fruit tastes. It’s tart like a cherry and has a jelly like texture but refreshing in that tasteless, cucumber way. 

 

“These are mimrak fruits. They grow just under the surface. Our soldiers used to eat these fruits on their expeditions. The juice helps prevent dehydration and the meat provides enough nutrients to stave off hunger.” Haggar says and he realizes that this whole exchange was some sort of peace offering. Putting his attention back on his fruit, he contemplates how he should put this. Haggar and himself, they will never be friends. Hell, just a few hours ago he had come to accept that he was going to be the one to kill her and he would have been okay with that. Even though she’s docile now, he knows she is only keeping him around because she needs him to build a machine for her. He wouldn’t put it past her to get rid of him somehow once she gets the chance. 

 

For now, he decides to play along. 

 

“So this device of yours, how does it work?” He asks, slurping out the last of the fruit from its shell. He studies her as she finishes eating. He’s not sure if it’s a trick of the light or if it’s natural but Haggar looks a lot less purple and sickly than she once did. In fact, she looks very similar to Allura and her Altean traits. Her facial markings are distorted but her eyes don’t hold the same eerie glow they once did. And although he is reluctant to admit it, she looks fairly well for a woman who is over ten thousand years old. 

 

However, he doesn’t miss how she seems to favor her right arm. 

 

“Since I’m unable to use my hand, this device will act as a relay for my powers, making sure the current is stable enough to open a wormhole.” She says easily, throwing her empty shells off to the side, “Hypothetically.” she adds quickly. 

 

Matt bites his lip, “Okay, you’re a woman of science, albeit questionably,” he clarifies, mumbling under his breath, “But I’d rather not bet my well-being on hypotheticals.”

 

“Hypothetical is all we have right now.” Haggar says, looking at him as if to challenge her reasoning. She has a point, even he knows it. Breaking-and-entering is really their only option if she is unable to power a wormhole correctly. Who knows where they could end up, otherwise. 

 

“And what’s to say you won’t ditch me as soon as you have your machine?” He asks, tossing his own shells away. 

 

Haggar turns to him and he’s surprised at the look in her eye. There is a sincerity there that he knows was never there before, “I can’t offer you anything more than my word.”

 

He’s crazy. He’s crazy and he can’t believe that he’s going to take that word and hold her to it. He offers a tight smile in response before gesturing to her hand, “I have a small first aid kit, I could wrap your wrist for you.”

 

Haggar looks down at her arm, brushing her right over where Matt assumes most of the pain is. She shrugs and scoots closer to him. He pulls the small pack from the satchel at his hip and sorts through what supplies he has left. There is enough gauze and some antibacterial ointment plus a couple of what he always assumed was space ibuprofen. He hands her the pain medication, which she swallows dry as he rubs the area around her wrist. There are a few scratches where the skin was broken but besides the swelling it doesn’t look too bad. He can feel her eyes on him as he wraps her wrist but he tries to ignore it. 

 

“I can repay the favor and tend to your burns.” She says, quietly between them. He looks up at her, startled, before he clears his throat and tries to put a little bit of distance between them. Behind her tired eyes and tainted facial marks, he can tell she was once beautiful. Although, for Matt, her ugly actions have stolen what beauty she would have had and he struggles to see past the witch that’s terrorized the universe. 

 

But when he’s done, he lets her look over his burns. 

 

The pain had dulled and he was mostly distracted with the situation to really focus on it, but if the way she winces when she pushes his hair to the side was any indication of how bad it was, he imagines he must look like a raisin. She’s close enough that he can hear her hard swallow and his stomach drops. He’s never worried much about his looks and he tells himself he’s not going to start now, however, he also knows it will hang in the back of his mind. 

 

Haggar rubs some of the cream on his burnt skin, it’s cool but it stings and he bites his finger to keep from calling out. He turns his eyes down at her pitying look but she doesn’t offer an apology. Nor does he want one. This is only a means to an end. He’s positive that once they get back, he and Voltron will go back to hunting her until one side ends this war. 

 

They wait until the sun sets to make their move. The witch has surprising knowledge of how the palace is laid out and Matt is torn between wanting to call her bluff and believing in her confidence. He settles for something in between, following her lead but keeping his guard up for any chance she might throw him under the bus. He looks up at her from behind and he’s also not sure what to make of her. She’s more docile than he expected. Perhaps it’s just the situation they found themselves in. Alone together on a strange planet in a seemingly different timeline where Zarkon is alive and, could he say normal? He’s not sure that the tyrannical maniac was anything but exactly that but Haggar seems to know. How, he’s not entirely sure but he knows they have a long, long, history. 

 

Their plan is child’s play at best however. Sneak in through the gardens, incapacitate any guards they come across along the way and, above all, pray. Luck is something Matt has little of but he’s going to need all he can get. He follows Haggar as she moves about, peeking around corners and walking on the tips of their feet. They make it to the lab without too much trouble and slip in undetected. 

 

Haggar flips on the light and Matt stops in his tracks. It’s a biologists dream lab. There are samples upon samples lining the shelves. Some pieces Matt is able to identify but others he’s never seen before. The equipment he is sure is state of the line. He walks up to her desk, where a hologram of Zarkon, the small child from earlier, and a woman he’s never seen before lays. They are all smiling happily and he feels a pang if guilt knowing he’s about to steal from the unsuspecting family right under their noses. 

 

“This is what we need.” Haggar calls from the other side of the room. Matt walks over to her and he fits as many pieces as he can into his pockets, carrying the rest in his hands. Haggar carries a few small pieces close to her person, trying to keep the weight off her injury and walk to the door. As they step past, Matt notices how his reflection appears on a shiny glass bottle on the shelf. The urge is strong, but he doesn’t stop to look. Instead, he grabs a couple of thermal heat cylinders he’s sure they will need later. 

 

Haggar holds the door open for him and eases it shut when he walks through. They start to go back the way they came when a loud, squeaky voice echoes off the walls. Matt looks to Haggar, a quiet plea on his face and she nods her head to some hedges lining the pathway. She rushes off but a shadow looms over the corner as it moves closer to him and if he were to cross toward the hedges he’d be spotted. He runs in the direction the shadow is moving towards and looks for something, anything that he could hide in. There is a small crevice in the structure that he slips into but its tight and too small for his larger frame. He eases into it anyway since his options are limited. 

 

The loud voice turns out to be a small child and they turn the corner with  _ zroom _ sounds and a small spacecraft in their hand. Matt carefully peeks over the corner and it’s the boy from before, and he’s heading right this way. Matt is too big, there is no way the boy won’t see him as he passes. If he calls for the guards, Matt will be taken captive (ironically, again). His eyes find Haggar’s in the bushes and there is a worried look on her face. He knows his own are begging her, for what he doesn’t know, but she nods like she understands. 

  
Before his very eyes, Haggar’s tired, old appearance disappears and she slowly turns into someone much younger. The woman from the hologram! Her white hair grows shorter, indigo bangs falling over part of her face. Her eyes brighten and the perverted marks across her face shrink into two small triangles under her eyes. Matt’s mouth falls open as Haggar steps out of the hedges and calls to the boy.

 

“Lotor, what are you doing up this late.” She says in a voice that is most definitely not her own. The boy, Lotor, stops in his tracks at seeing her and Matt worries that she has just blown their cover. 

 

“I’m sorry, mother,“ Lotor says and if the situation wasn’t so dire, he’d have screamed  _ What? _ , “I was just playing.”

 

“It’s past your bedtime, why don’t you run along and I’ll be right there to tuck you in.” Haggar says with a small smile and Lotor beams at her. 

 

“Would you tell me a story?” He asks with the hope only a child can have. 

 

“Of course.” She replies and Lotor starts to happily skip back the way he came and Matt exhales a sigh of relief, “Oh and Lotor?” Haggar calls and Matt’s lungs seize up again. He curses her as she stands there, extending her arms out towards Lotor. He looks at her oddly for a moment before jumping into her arms. She kneels down, hugging Lotor tightly. 

 

Matt’s eyes widen at the intimate moment. Haggar isn’t hugging Lotor to give the illusion that she is his mother. She’s hugging him as if she’s been given air to breathe. It’s reminiscent of his own mother’s hugs, the way Haggar holds onto him tightly, as if she were to let go Lotor would float away. 

 

He looks away, breathing heavily and he’s confused. There is no way Haggar has it in her to be so loving towards another creature. She has terrorized universes, turned good men into machines, distorted her own body for power. But when he turns back to see Haggar holding Lotor at arms length, a smile on her face as if she’s seeing the sunrise for the first time, Matt starts to wonder if he’s wrong about her. 


	4. Chapter 4

The walk back to camp is quiet. Which is fine with Haggar because she is still lost in the feeling of holding Lotor in her arms. Part of her traitorously tries to remind herself that  _ that _ Lotor isn’t hers and that what she’s feeling is just a longing for the real thing but the other part of her does believe that  _ that  _ Lotor is hers because technically he is. 

 

The human has finally backed off with his onslaught of questions since they left the palace. She wasn’t going to answer them anyway. She revealed more to him than she ever really wanted to and now he knows about her ability to shapeshift.  _ It’s no matter I suppose _ , she thinks. There isn’t really anything she can do about it now. 

 

She makes it back to camp first and she tosses the items she’s carrying into the corner of their small cave-like shelter. She should thank her companion for building it because the overnight winds on Daibazaal are unforgivingly cool but she won’t. She needs him for one thing and one thing only. 

 

She uncharacteristically flops down next to her stolen parts, sorting through them. If she can distract herself with the designs for her device, she can focus. She can try to forget the way her heart finally came alive while holding Lotor. How it felt to hold the entire universe in her arms. Lotor was warm and his small arms wrapped tightly around her neck, filling her with a love that only a child can bring. In that moment Haggar had felt like the most important person to Lotor, and his faith in her made her feel like she could take on the world. 

 

The human clears his throat in front of her, tearing her from her musings. She looks up at him and his face is unreadable. He must be upset that she ignored his questions but he surprises her when he hands her something. She takes it gingerly and smiles lightly when she recognizes it as a heat component used to change the temperature of specimens in her experiments. She looks over to 117-9876, who has moved over to his corner of the camp. He snaps the cylinder in his hands like a glowstick and places it next to his person as he lays down. His back is to her and within moments she can see his breathing even out. It has been a long day for the both of them but she’s still surprised that he was able to fall asleep so quickly in her presence. Haggar looks back down at her own heater. He reminds her of Lotor in a way. They both share that same confident stubbornness that has probably saved them as much as it has gotten them into trouble. 

 

She places the heater down next to her, she won’t be needing it tonight. The sooner she gets back, the sooner she can save her son from the rift. She gets up and searches the surrounding area for a rock sharp enough to use as a writing tool. She finds one not to far away and begins drawing blueprints into the soil. It’s meticulous work and she is able to leave everything else behind as she crafts the device that will bring her one step closer to Lotor. 

 

She finishes just as the sun rises over the horizon and she looks over her shoulder as her companion groans and stretches. She turns back around, admiring her plans, giving him some privacy to fully wake up. Haggar pretends to not notice how he walks away from their camp and out of sight as she grabs a mimrak fruit from the pile she collected yesterday. 

 

117-9876 comes back with heavy footfalls and a grumpy look on his face. He plops down next to her, crosses his legs and rests his hands on his knees in what Haggar assumes he thinks looks intimidating. 

 

It’s not. 

 

“Listen, my family means everything to me.  _ Shiro _ , means everything to me. And you are going to pay for everything you’ve done to him. For what you’ve done to the universe.” He threatens. His eyes hold a haunted look and the dark circles under them only tell her that he didn’t sleep well. She had looked over at him multiple times through the night at his whimpers and small cries, assuming he was plagued with nightmares.

 

Unfortunate for him. 

 

“How noble of you, 117-9876.” She replies sarcastically. 

 

“My name is Matt.” He stresses, his brows bunching in frustration. 

 

“I don’t care what your name is,” Haggar spats, “You’re only useful to me until we get back and I can save Lotor.”

 

“What do you mean, save Lotor?” 

 

“That’s none of your business.” Of all the things she let slip, it was that. She studies him out of the corner of her eye, ready to defend her cause if she has too. There is no way she is going to let him stop her. 

 

He’s silent for a moment as he looks her over before finally speaking, voice low and incredulous, “You know I can’t let you do that.”

 

“Try and stop me.” She challenges. 

 

There is a standoff between them. Woman to man and the air between them feels ready to combust under their combined flames of pertinacity. Haggar waits for his next move, but the only thing he does is let go of a sigh that seems to come from his core as his shoulders drop. 

 

“So, go over the blueprints with me so I can get started.” He says, looking over the drawings on the floor. 

 

She feels somehow removed from her body as she tells him what each piece or part’s significance is in her plans. Why did he concede so easily? He now knows her end goal but she doesn’t know his. Haggar tells herself to be wary of him. She knows he’s not just some pitiful human. He has skills that have kept him alive and ruined carefully constructed Galra plans. She watches as he listens carefully to her words, asking intriguing questions about the design and she thinks maybe she should have looked closer when he was in her captivity. His intelligence would have been a great asset. 

 

“And that’s about it. Once it’s complete I’ll be able to use it to get us back.” She finishes and 117-9876 stands there with his arms crossed and a pout on his lips. It’s the same face she used to make when confronted with a scientific puzzle she was eager to solve. 

 

“Guess I better get to it.” He says as he starts to sort out the pile of parts. She watches him for a moment and he absentmindedly wipes his brow. The Daibazaal sun hasn’t even reached its peak in the sky and the heat is already sweltering, “I’m going to get more fruit,“ She says but in his distraction, he doesn’t hear her and she uses the opportunity to slip away.  

 

She doesn’t look for more fruit. She’s drawn to the gardens of the palace. She has already shifted into her more pleasing persona so she can slip past the guards easily. Her fingers lightly brush the flora as she walks the familiar but long forgotten path she used to walk with Zarkon. The memories slowly come back but unfortunately there aren’t many. Too soon after their marriage their corruption began but the untainted memories she can cherish. 

 

She spots Zarkon standing at the edge of the path, his back to her and her heart starts to rush. Should she turn away before he notices her? What if Honerva is somewhere close by? Her eyes rapidly search the area but there doesn’t seem to be anyone else around. She takes a slow step back, realizing that she shouldn’t be here. This was a mistake. She’s longing for something she can no longer obtain. 

 

A branch snaps under her foot and she curses under her breath. Zarkon looks over, startled, but a smile breaks over his face upon seeing her. 

 

“Honerva, I thought you were in council.” His voice soothes over her body like a caress and she never thought she could miss something so much. 

 

“We finished early,” She lies easily. Zarkon seems to buy it but before he can ask any details about her supposed council meeting she changes the subject, “What do you have there?” 

 

Haggar smiles slyly as Zarkon looks away, a slight reddish tint under his eyes, “You’ve caught me red handed. These are for you.”

 

He hands her the bouquet of flowers and she notices they are all her favorite. He’s picked a few of the sun blossoms that pair beautifully with the blue hued daisy blooms that were always the most beautiful in her garden. There are other flowers she doesn’t remember the names of and their fragrance is sweet and clean. Even in another reality, being with Zarkon is easy. 

 

“They’re lovely,” She whispers more to herself than to Zarkon. She hopes her voice doesn’t betray the actual waiver of emotion she feels at receiving flowers from her dead husband, “Thank you.” 

 

Zarkon notices anyway and he’s placing his hand low on her back, “Are you feeling well?” 

 

“I’m just feeling a bit lightheaded.” She says and Zarkon helps ease her down on a nearby bench. He holds her closely and in this reality he doesn’t wear his thick heavy armor. She is able to mold herself to his body. He wraps his arm around her and his fingers rub soothing circles on her skin. She knows she shouldn’t allow this but it’s a moment of weakness for her. She doesn’t even remember the last time she was held by Zarkon before Haggar the witch started to take over her consciousness. 

 

She brings the bouquet to her face, breathing deeply their scent as she hides the silent tears falling down her cheeks. 


	5. Chapter 5

Matt places the device down gently and takes a step back, “Look at this, it’s amazing.” He says to himself. The contraption shines under the sun and it’s exactly as Haggar wanted. Not a bolt out of place. Pride swells in his chest.

 

The only problem is he won’t be able to test it until Haggar gets back since he doesn’t have evil magical powers to turn it on. _Where is she anyway_  he thinks looking around. He spots her off in the distance, walking to him from the direction of the palace and he can’t help but think what she could have possibly been doing over there.

 

 _Probably causing trouble_.

 

He waits for her to make it back to camp before casually showing her the finished device. She looks different somehow, up close. Her eyes and nose are red, as if she had an allergy attack or had been crying. Both of those scenarios seem unlikely to him but when she speaks and her breath hitches in the same way he remembers his sister’s when she’s been crying, he knows.

 

“We should leave as soon as possible.” She tells him, very obviously avoiding meeting his eyes. She grabs the device and gingerly slides it over her injured wrist. Just then, alarms blare in the distance and Matt and Haggar both look towards the palace.

 

“What did you do?” He asks, the thought of being caught filling him with dread.

 

“Nothing if we leave now.” She replies sheepishly.

 

“But we haven’t even tested it yet.”

 

“There’s no time, “ She says as the sirens get louder, “Just imagine clearly in your mind where you want to be. In our timeline.”

 

There is indistinct shouting off in the distance and Matt can see an army of Galra soldiers rushing towards them. _I can’t wait for the day when I’m not being chased by these damn cats,_ he grumbles to himself.

 

Haggar motions him over and he places his hand on her device. He can feel it power up, vibrating under his hand.

 

“On my count, 1.” Haggar says, conjuring a mass of purple magic between her hands.

 

“2.”

 

The screams and calls of the forthcoming army are getting closer and Matt can see them rushing towards them like a wave, “Hurry up.” He tells her shakily.

 

“3!”

 

The portal opens beneath their feet and they’re falling. Matt feels his stomach rise into his throat as he falls, his hand white knuckles against Haggar’s device. He must have grabbed her with his other arm because he can feel his hand tighten around the soft flesh of her arm.

 

They land as if they had just jumped off a trampoline onto rock hard surface and the shock travels through his feet and up his legs until it settles at the base of his spine. It leaves a sour taste on the back of his tongue and once the nausea wears down he turns to Haggar, who doesn’t look much better off.

 

“What the hell was that?”

 

“That was me saving our asses.” She says smugly as she brushes off her shoulders.

 

“From an army of angry Galra? What happened back there?”

 

“I may have paid a visit to their garden. It’s lovely this time of year.” She tries to dodge. But Matt is a genius and all he needs is a minute to figure it out. She said she’d gone back to the gardens, which means she’d have to use those weird chameleon powers to get past security. Why would she go back? To see Lotor maybe? If that’s the case, where was the person she was impersonating?

 

Ah, she must have been figured out. Which would explain her hasty retreat.

 

“You got caught.” He says, crossing his arms, “You’re lucky I had your device ready in time.”

 

“By my calculations we’re both lucky,” She shrugs, “But it doesn’t seem to have worked,” She looks around suspiciously,  “Where are we?”

 

Matt hadn’t even thought of that until she mentioned it and looks around with her. They’re in what appears to be a living room. It’s quaint, cozy. A couch sits in the center that looks worn in with a black round carpet beneath it. There are bookshelves along the walls but no television so the poor sods that live here must have no grasp on good entertainment. There are no photos or personal effects anywhere to give away who might actually call this place home. In fact, it’s surprisingly barren, as if the occupants have recently moved in but had nothing to their name.

 

There was something about the place, however, that filled Matt with a sense of ease. He felt safe here, in the same way the home he grew up in felt safe. There was a window near the door, where the setting sun could be seen glowing in the darkening sky. Matt pushes the curtains away and he’s hit with a deep nostalgia.

 

This house is in the clearing of a forest, but this isn’t any forest. It’s like the one on Olkarion. He turns to look over the room again and his eyes quickly spot what was hidden before. There are vines in corners and leaves in places where they could pass as prints on a wallpaper. Barely noticeable unless you were looking for it.

 

Could they be on Olkarion? Did they actually make it back? Matt immediately pressed a few buttons on his wrist comm, trying to get in contact with his sister or anyone that would be able to pick up his frequency.

 

The comm stays dead.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Haggar has found a ribbon bound book. She pulls the ribbon off of the pastel-colored binding and uses it to tie her long hair back.

 

“What are you doing?” He whispers in exasperation. He’s had enough of today to deal with Haggar’s inability to control her bad habits, thievery becoming number one on that ever-growing list.

 

“You have long hair, you know what it’s like.” She replies like she has every right to take a stranger’s ribbon and use it for her own personal gain. _It’s not like you didn’t just steal from Galran royalty_ , he thinks but drops that line of thought because that was _necessary_.

 

It’s weird seeing Haggar without her mangy hair hanging ominously down her shoulders. With it pulled back she looks almost normal, and the small piece that hangs down over her right eye, dare he say it? Cute, but only in a aesthetic way? She’s looking more and more like Allura as time goes by, more Altean. His conclusion is that Haggar once _was_ Altean but how she got to be so displaced from that is a mystery to him.

 

A clash above them brings them both back to the very real situation that they are standing conspicuously in someone’s living room stealing ribbons and Matt realizes they needs to get out of here.

 

“Let’s go.” He says, grabbing Haggar’s arm roughly. She struggles at first but gives in. It’s no good if they get caught. His hands are on the doorknob when a cry rings out. He looks at Haggar, who just shrugs her shoulders at him. She doesn’t know what’s going on either. He hears it again and it sounds like a baby. It’s coming from upstairs and before he knows it he’s slowly taking the stairs one by one, as if the baby’s cry is pulling his feet against his will.

 

What kind of person would he be if he left a poor, helpless baby crying alone in an otherwise empty house? No part of this felt like it was a bad idea, he was being a good samaritan. His hand hovers over the banister with each step he takes, as if he were a ghost in the house. He reaches the top and follows the baby’s cry to an open door at the end of the hall. Then a voice speaks and Matt’s heart stops beating.

 

“I think I got the mixture right this time.”

 

 _Thats_. He swallows. _That’s my voice._ He feels like he’s gasping for breath and hyperventilating at the same time and he’s vaguely aware he’s trembling but what he hears next terrifies him.

 

“Let’s hope so.” Comes the reply and Matt chokes on his breath.

 

Shiro?

 

He peeks into the room and sure enough, Shiro is sitting in a plush rocking chair, a bundle of blankets in his arms. His white hair is longer and he has a different prosthetic from what he remembers, but he wouldn’t mistake that face for anyone else in the universe. A growing shadow across the door alerts him and he quickly flattens his back against the wall, holding his breath. The shadow shrinks as the body--his body--moves to stand next to Shiro. He peeks again and watches as he hands Shiro a bottle. Shiro takes it with a soft smile on his face and lowers the blanket to reveal a small baby. The other Matt blocks his view from the baby’s face but Matt would have missed it anyway in favor of spotting the matching rings he and Shiro wear.

 

He hides against the wall again, trying to ease his breathing. In another life, he and Shiro are married and apparently parents. He can barely keep it together when he’s with Shiro in this life and the ugly head of jealousy and bitterness seeps into his chest. Why does this Matt get what he wants? He bet’s this Matt and Shiro were never forced into an intergalactic war and were able to watch their relationship evolve naturally. _The bitter heart eats its owner,_ Shiro once told him, but this time, he’s too overwhelmed to take it to heart.

 

From inside the room he can hear Matt and Shiro’s chatter over how well the baby is doing and he _can’t_. He moves away from the door quickly and rushes as fast as he can downstairs. He needs to get out of here.

 

He takes the stairs one by one, counting them with each step and when he reaches the bottom he looks up to find Haggar was not where he left her and he silently whisper-yells to her, “Haggar.”

 

“You can call me Honerva.” She says as she walks out of the kitchen and Matt’s jaw drops. The only explanation he can come up with is that she’s using her chameleon powers to look younger and healthier but why would she do that when it’s just him?

 

Oh no.

 

“What—“ He clears his throat, suddenly not sure if he should cross his arms or leave them hanging at his side, “You look different.”

 

“I feel different.” She admits and she’s looking at him funny, is she looking at him funny? He can’t tell, his specialty is human men, not manic alien witches.

 

He sighs, he should nip this in the bud before it has a chance to go anywhere, “Look, I’m going to be honest. I’m not interested.”

 

Haggar—or Honerva— looks at him with raised eyebrows, “What are you talking about?”

 

He gestures in her general direction, “Your sudden yet unwelcome youthful appearance?”

 

He watches as Honervas face changes from confusion to realization, to complete elation, “Ahahaha, trust me, you’re not my type.” She laughs and Matt is trying to _shush_ her lest she disturbed the _happy couple_ upstairs, “But to answer your unasked question, being away from quintessence for so long had completed my healing process. Haggar is gone. Now I’m just simply Honerva, Altean Alchemist.”

 

_What the actual quiznak is going on?_

 

Matt rubs a tired hand along his face. He doesn’t have time for this. Haggar, or Honerva, or whoever the hell she is, is his only way home and despite her persona change, she _still_ has wicked plans to release Lotor from the rift that he _still_ has to deal with when they get back. Plus, he’s still emotionally compromised from watching his doppelganger cozying it up with Shiro.

 

“Lets just go already.” He tells her, opening the door and leading the way out. He shuts it behind her and she’s smiling sheepishly when he turns back to look at her.

 

“What now?” He asks, dreading what it could be.

 

“You know, he never stopped talking about you.” She comments like she just told him water is wet.

 

“What are you talking about?” He clips, seriously over it.

 

“117-9875.”

 

At the mention of Shiro’s ID number, his blood goes cold. Absolutely not, she has no right.

 

“His name is Shiro. And you don’t get to talk about him to me.” He snarls and he didn't plan on continuing but his mouth keeps moving, “Actually, I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. You ruined our lives and although you’re wearing a pretty face now, nothing will change the ugliness under your skin.” He spits and now that he’s started, he doesn’t stop, “It’s no wonder your family forgot about you.” He jabs darkly and he doesn’t care that her eyes widen in shock, or that she’s walking towards him, brows now scrunched and a scowl on her face. He barely registers the pain as she smacks him his head whips to the side.

 

“You’re on your own.” She bites before she walks away. He doesn’t follow her into the forest nor does he watch her leave. He closes his eyes as his hands clench at his sides and he screams. He screams for his pain, for his loneliness. He screams for his family, for his sister, for Shiro. He lets go of his suffering, of the injustice that has become his life and when he’s screamed his voice raw he falls to the ground, sobbing in front of the house he imagined having one day before everything went to shit.

 

Behind him, the door opens.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Honerva struggles again to open a stable wormhole for the fifth time and growls in her frustration. Matt’s words echo in her mind, not because she’s angry at them but because they’re true. 

 

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting bringing up his friend. Of course he wouldn’t want to talk about him with her. It was her fault every terrible thing happened to them in the first place. And she thought…

 

Thought what? That they were becoming friends?

 

That would never happen. She knows it but some part of her, some part that used to be buried deep, allowed herself to hope that in her healing she’d be able to develop some sort of positive connection with someone. The road to healing is a long walk alone. 

 

But she also realizes that she will only be alone for as long as she allows herself to be away from Lotor. She closes her eyes and focuses on him, tries to feel his connection to her. She is his mother and he will never be far from her heart. Not anymore. Around her the wind starts to pick up and a collection of purple matter gathers slowly between her open palms. She’s close, she can feel him. He is surrounded by white light but there is a darkness there as well. A sinister creature of the rift and she hears his fearful childlike cry calling for her:  _ Mommy _ . 

 

Her eyes pop open and her portal erupts in existence and she walks through like a woman on a mission. The pull on her body is familiar by now and she thinks devotedly of Lotor, only of Lotor. She is deposited on the surface of Daibazaal and Honerva doesn’t have to wonder if this is the right timeline because the planet is dead. The remains of the rift machine are floating in the atmosphere and that’s where she heads. If her calculations are correct, the veil between realities should be thinner here since the portal has already been open. She places her hands on the ground closest to the destroyed portal but takes a moment to collect herself.

 

She won’t have a lot of time inside the rift before she turns back into Haggar and that scares her. She spent ten thousand years as the harbinger of death and destruction to fulfill the rift beasts desires and it could be over in less than a few minutes. She finally feels some semblance of normalcy being Honerva again. 

 

_ Lotor. _

 

Her journey to becoming the mother Lotor needs was worth the struggle and she will not let fear deter her now. Lotor needs her now and she will let nothing stop her from getting him back. 

 

She focuses again, feeling her power surge just under her skin. She has to cut the veil of time and space to open the rift. She imagines her power inside her, the dark magic and her alchemy, coming together to pierce the veil. It resists and Honerva pushes harder against the rules of the universe. She will get in if it’s the last thing she does. 

 

The portal opens with a blast wave that knocks her back. She’s on her feet in a tick and jumps into the portal, throwing her arms over her eyes to block the bright white light of the rift. 

 

She doesn’t open her eyes until she’s stable on her feet, “Lotor?” She yells into the void. Her eyes are searching, but there is nothing but an endless expanse of white, “Lotor?” She calls again. 

 

An echo cries out to her left and she doesn’t think, just moves, “Lotor, I’m coming.” She screams, trying to keep her voice even, “Mommy’s coming.” 

 

She doesn’t stop, just follows the echo of her sons cries. She runs until her chest is heaving and her muscles burn. Her effort is paid off when up ahead she can see a dark spot against the white. It fuels her, she runs faster. As she gets closer she’s able to make out the outline of a ship. It’s the ship Lotor had assumed he was making without her knowledge and she knows, that’s where she will find him. 

 

“Lotor, I'm here.” She cries in relief but it’s short lived. A misty cloud appears in front of her. She stops in her tracks as glowing purple eyes appear as a beast takes shape. It’s sharp teeth are bared and she can hear it’s growl in her mind.

 

_ You’ve returned,  _ it says. 

 

“For my son.” She declares. There is a power in her that unleashes. She has come too far to be stopped now and she will let nothing get in the way of reaching her son. She holds her arms out and lets her power flow through her. It surges forward, a blinding light of purple lightning searing through the beast, tearing it to pieces. 

 

She breathes heavily as she watches it disperse but she knows that won’t keep the beast at bay for long. As she reaches the ship she spots her reflection in the glass. Her hair has come out of its bun, falling gangly over her shoulders. Her roots are slowly turning from the gentle blues she was born with to the glaring white she’s lived with for so long. Her tan skin is patching, turning lavender in random places across her face and her eyes have started to glow. 

 

She looks past that, through her reflection and sees Lotor, curled up in a ball. Gone was the man she had last seen, before her was a child so young she assumed he could barely walk. Her breath fogs up his image as she sobs in relief, she’s made it. 

 

The hatch opens and Lotor looks up startled, tears in his eyes, “Mommy?” 

 

Honerva scoops him up in her arms and Lotor’s small hands grip tightly to her shirt, “I’m here Lotor. I promise I’ll never leave you again.” She rocks gently back and forth, trying to ease Lotor’s fear with a comforting gesture, yet his small hiccups of relief are loud in her ear. Her arms wrap all the way around his small frame and she takes just a moment to relish that she has succeeded. She can finally be the mother to Lotor that he deserves. She will be able to watch him grow, mold and guide him into a man strong and respectful and just. Everything a mother wants for her child.

 

An echoing growl startles them both and Lotor grips tighter to Honerva. She steadies herself, holding Lotor in her arms tightly as she runs back the way she came. It’s tiring, Lotor’s added weight slows her down but she presses onward. 

 

She can see the portal opening up ahead and Lotor is crying in her ears, the growls of the rift beasts are echoing all around them, her heart is pounding in her chest but she doesn’t stop until her and Lotor have made it out of the portal. 

 

The barren land of Daibazaal greets them and when Honerva looks down at Lotor he’s de-aged even more. When she found him he was on the cusps of toddlerhood, now he looks more like a newborn child. She sinks to her knees, holding her baby close. If she had been a second longer…

 

She didn’t want to think what it would have been like to one moment be holding her son and the next holding nothing. 

 

She rubs her cheeks along his own chubby ones, whispering sweet words to him that he doesn’t understand. It’s the whirring of a weapon that draws her attention away from Lotor and she looks up to find disapproving amber eyes looking down on her. 

 

“It’s over.” 117-9876 says and she holds Lotor protectively against her chest. She looks past him to find the Voltron lions and their paladins standing fully armored and on guard. An orange mustached man, along with 117-9875 are standing off to the side. 

 

“I’m not letting you take him away from me.” She warns, looking back to 117-9876. His eyes narrow and she readies her good hand, small bursts of lighting flickering in and out threateningly. 

 

The ground starts to rumble and everyone looks around. Honerva gets up and turns to look behind her. Out of the rift a giant claw is working it way out. 

 

“It’s trying to widen the portal.” She says to herself but Matt hears her.

 

“Are you sure?” He asks with fear stricken eyes. 

 

“Positive. But if it gets out into our reality…” She lets her words speak for her, looking around to everyone around her. The Paladin in red steps forward, looking directly at her before his eyes drop to the small bundle in her hands. Instinctively she pulls him away, trying to hide Lotor in her breast. He has another thing coming if he thinks he can threaten her. 

 

“Can you close the portal?” He asks instead. She eyes him warily but nods, “Then let’s form Voltron. We’ll keep the beast from coming out further while you close the portal.”

 

They go their separate ways and Honerva runs to the back of the portal, tucking Lotor securely to her robes. She hovers her hands over the portal, while Voltron uses its massive sword to push against the beast. It’s difficult work. Honerva’s arm trembles from exhaustion and she’s starting to feel light-headed. She tries to focus, but the beast is fighting strong and hard against Voltron and her mentally. It’s taunts her: 

 

_ You’ll never be rid of us _

 

_ We are one and the same _

 

_ We created you _

 

She startles. That’s it. She knows what to do. 

 

Her heart holds her back and she looks down at Lotor. He’s curled into her, eyes closed. She blinks, eyes filling with tears. She was so close. So close to having everything she wanted. She gently brushes a finger along his cheek and nuzzles him. He sighs against her face and the tears fall unabridged. She looks up and spots 117-9876 huddled against the others. She looks back down at Lotor and a tear falls onto his cheek, sliding down from his Altean mark, “I’m sorry, my love.” She tells him before walking the long trek towards the small group. 

 

She reaches them, hiccuping as she hands Lotor out to Matt, “Matt,” She gasps out his name, “Please take care of Lotor.” 

 

“What?” He says, surprise not only on his face, but that of his companions. 

 

“It’s the only way,” She tells him, her eyes only for Lotor, “I’m the only one that can stop the beasts from coming through.”

 

Matt’s hands slowly raise to take Lotor but he hesitates, “Honerva—“

 

“Please,” she cries, “I know you can give him the life he deserves. I’ve seen it.” She pleads. She knows Matt can handle it. She saw his life in the other reality. How he lived with the man standing next to him, loving and happy. They lived the kind of life Lotor deserves. Seeing them together like that, she knows Matt can give Lotor everything she can’t. 

 

“Just tell Lotor,” She gasps as Lotor’s weight is lifted from her arms. She raises her finger out to Lotor, whose small fingers wrap tightly around it, pulling another cry from her chest, “Tell Lotor how much I love him.”

 

She leans in and kisses his cheek, lingering and memorizing this last moment with him. His other hand flattens against her tear streaked cheek and she whispers, “Goodbye.”

 

She pulls back and looks Matt in the eye. Silent tears are falling down his own cheeks, “You can count on me, Honerva.” 

 

Shiro stands tall and places a comforting hand on Matt’s shoulder and she offers them both a small smile. It’s worth it knowing that Lotor will be in good hands. 

 

Each step towards the portal rips a hole in her soul. In her ten thousand years, never has anything been so painful. She struggles to breathe and her heart feels like it’s being squeezed dry. She reaches the portal and looks up at Voltron. She nods towards it and it returns the nod, stepping back to let her through. 

 

She doesn’t look behind her because she knows if she did, she wouldn’t be able to leave. Instead she looks the beast in the eyes and she fills with rage. This beast is what has caused her eternal torment and it will pay. 

 

She can feel the same power from before fill her body and she realizes now it’s the power of her maternal instincts. She uses that power to push the beast back and steps into the portal after it, sealing it from the inside. 


	7. Chapter 7

The door opening behind Matt startles him and he backs away quickly. He hides behind a nearby tree but the damage is already done.

 

“I know you’re there,” His doppleganger calls, “I can see your unruly carrot top from here.”

 

_Did he just...insult me? Us?_

 

Matt peeks his head around the tree and sure enough, he sees himself standing on the doorstep with his arms crossed, eyeing his nails with disinterest. When he notices Matt moving closer, he smirks.

 

“Fancy meeting you in a place like this.” He says comically, “And let’s be real, you deserved that bitch slap.”

 

“You...know about me?” He asks, pointedly ignoring the second part of that statement.

 

“Of course I do.” He replies but Matt doesn’t miss how he leaves the _because_ out, “Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” He says cryptically and Matt studies himself through suspicious eyes. It’s no stretch that this Matt would be quoting Shiro considering he’s _married_ to Shiro (who’s, in turn, married to his crazy proverbs seemingly in any reality). His other self has longer hair, tied nicely at the base of his neck. He can see the lightning burn from Haggar on the side of his face but there are other scars that he doesn’t have that grace his features. It’s his eyes that look different. They’re the same tired eyes his parent’s had when Katie was born but they’re also overflowing with love. The other Matt moves closer to him and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. This close he doesn’t look much older than himself, “Trust me,” He says before pointing  in a direction behind Matt, “She went that way. I’d hurry if I were you.” He winks with a knowing smile.

 

He leaves Matt there, slamming the front door of his house behind him and Matt can’t help but think that this is, by far, the weirdest encounter he’s ever had in his life.

 

He doesn’t waste time thinking too hard on it when he’s pretty sure his other self was pointing in the direction Honerva ran off to. Who can you trust if you can’t trust yourself, right?

 

He runs until his legs burn and in a clearing up ahead he sees Honerva walking through her wormhole. He pushes himself as hard as he can, thinking only of where he wants to be. He thinks of his sister, the green paladin of Voltron changing the universe for the better. He thinks of the other paladins, of their sacrifices. Allura, Coran, the strings holding everyone together.

 

And he thinks of Shiro.

 

He’s assaulted with memories of their time in the garrison, staying up late and playing pranks on the new recruits. They worked together soon after graduation, becoming co-workers and not soon after admitting their budding feelings for each other. They had to hide their relationship so they couldn’t be accused of fraternization but looking back, he wishes he had taken more stolen kisses in abandoned hallways or quiet moments on the roof because it wouldn’t last long. Their capture was not long after their landing on Kerberos and he was ripped away from Shiro and his father. He remembers being frightened with no one to look to. Shiro was gone, his father was gone. His family was thousands of miles away on Earth. He cried for them, then buried them deep in his heart where he’d always carry them.

 

And then, by some miracle, they were reunited. Katie had grown so much and he was so proud of her. He always knew she was special and now she’s saving the universe.

 

And after seeing Shiro again? He regrets the time he never told Shiro how he really felt. That day when he fell through the wormhole with Haggar, he lied to Shiro. He didn’t know if he would ever see him again, he didn’t even know if he’d make it out alive.  But he had to make a choice and if push came to shove, he’d make the same choice again.

 

A world without Shiro and his loved ones, wasn’t a world he wanted to live in.

 

He jumps into the wormhole just before it closes with these thoughts on his mind. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut until he lands on a rough surface, groaning from the impact. There are gasps all around him and he opens his eyes to find himself staring a conglomeration of feet. He jumps up and is met with the familiar faces of the paladins. Everyone is there, standing on the bridge in the Castle of Lions, Lance, Keith, Hunk, Allura, Coran and Katie. He jumps up, hugging each of them with words of _oh my god,_ and _I can’t believe I found you guys._

 

He hugs Katie last, who’s holding him tightly as she say, “What the hell, you literally feel out of the sky.”

 

“Language, Pidge.” Shiro chides her behind him and his breath catches in his throat when he sees him.

 

“I’m glad you kept your promise.” He says and Matt smiles, throwing himself into Shiro’s arms. Shiro holds him tightly, as if he let go Matt would float away, when he whispers in his ear, “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

 

Matt pulls back, eyes wide and a disbelieving smile on his face, “Holy shit, I love you.”

 

The room pauses as the weight of what he’s said falls over them. Shiro’s eyes are wide too and after everything Matt’s just been through, he just shrugs his shoulders and leans in for a kiss.

 

An awkward clearing of a throat prevents Matt from getting those sweet, sweet lips on his own and he turns to find Pidge was the one who so rudely ruined his moment. The brat doesn’t even have an apologetic look on her face and, oh, she will pay later.

 

Shiro readjusts with a slight blush on his cheeks, maybe realizing that he was acting inappropriate in front of the children but his hand rests on his shoulder and it’s enough for everything to feel right in the world.

 

“What happened to Haggar?” Shiro asks, face morphing from casual bashfulness to stoic seriousness.

 

Oh yeah, maybe not everything is right in the world yet.

 

“We have to stop her, “ He tells everyone, looking at each person before stopping on Allura, “She’s going to open a portal to save Lotor from the rift.”

 

“Are you sure?” Allura asks.

 

“Positive.”

 

“We don’t know where she’s going to open this portal.” Lance cries dramatically, “She could do that anywhere in the universe.”

 

Matt bites his lip as he thinks for a moment. When they first landed it was on Daibazaal. That’s also where Haggar started her retrograde transformations. He knows the rift portal on Daibazaal in this timeline was destroyed but what if she was somehow able to reopen it with her powers because the timelines converge on that spot?

 

“Check Daibazaal.” He says and Allura nods, prompting Coran to pull up the scanners over the planet. A screen pops up above the console. Coran zooms in on the feed of a woman kneeling down on the planet's surface.

 

“Is that...Haggar?” Keith asks, turning to look at Matt. Six sets of eyes turn to look at him as well and he stares into the image of her.

 

“She goes by Honerva now.” He says crossing his arms with a sour look on his face. She’s more like trouble.  

 

“How is that possible?” Allura asks, perplexed at the very literal Altean opening the rift on Daibazaal.

 

“She said something about being cut off from quintessence.” Matt says, not really sure how or why any of this is even possible, “But that doesn’t matter, we have to stop her.”

 

It’s Keith’s turn to receive the weight of six pairs of eyes on him and he shuffles his feet before saying, “Set a course for Daibazaal.”

 

Tensions are high as everyone moves their respective places. Allura takes her place at the center consoles and opens the wormhole. Matt sits next to Pidge, reading over her shoulder the ship diagnostics while stealing glances at the back of Shiro’s head.

 

He can’t believe that he just came out and blurted his feelings all because Shiro gave him a really lame pick-up line that may or may not have been a joke. But now that it’s out in the open, he feels a little bit lighter and although there hasn’t been time for Shiro to respond, he’s not afraid. His and Shiro’s relationship is something real and it’s not like they haven’t toed around the L-word before.

 

By the time they reach Daibazaal, Honerva has already entered the portal but they’re ready for her when she comes out.

 

“It’s over.” He tells her, holding his weapon directly at her but his eyes flick to the small bundle in her arms.

 

“I’m not letting you take him away from me.” She growls and he narrows his eyes at her. If she’s referring to what she’s carrying as ‘him’, she must have found Lotor but, he’s a baby and Matt isn’t cruel enough to take a child from its mother.

 

He’s about to tell her to go, to hide away with her son but with the understanding that if she tries to rise to power again, Voltron and himself would be there to take her down. But his words aren’t voiced because the ground beneath him shakes him to his core. Honerva stands and moves closer to him, away from the portal where a massive hand is reaching out, trying to pry open what’s left of the portal.

 

“It’s trying to widen the portal.” He hears her whisper next to him and whatever the hell is trying to come out doesn’t seem friendly.

 

“Are you sure?” He asks, turning to face her. She opened the portal, she has to know how to stop it.

 

“Positive, “She says confidently, “But if it gets out into our reality…”

 

Honerva doesn’t need to finish her sentence for the implications of what she means seems to settle among everyone. It’s bad. Matt hears Keith step forward, ever the leader.

 

“Can you close the portal?” He asks. Honerva looks to Matt, before looking back at Keith, silently telling him she can with a nod of her head, “Then let's form Voltron.”

 

Matt’s not exactly sure what happens afterward. There isn’t much for him to do beside take cover next to Shiro who came down for emotional support. He looks up at Shiro from his spot where he’s kneeling by a piece of the broken rift portal. His white hair is blowing in the wind and his eyes are closed. He’d probably never admit it but he’s using his body as a shield to cover Matt from the worst of the wind. It’s precious, and Matt reaches his hand out to Shiro. At his touch, Shiros eyes widen but soften when he meets Matt’s.

 

They stay like that until a noise at his side draws his attention. Honerva is standing there, a sobbing mess staring down at Lotor.

 

“Matt,” She says and the use of his name has dread filling in his belly, “Please take care of Lotor.” It’s not a question, it’s the plea of a woman who is about to lose everything.

 

“What?” He mumbles out, surprised she’s asking him of all people. What happened to the woman who was determined to get her son back no matter what?

 

“It’s the only way, I’m the only one that can stop the beasts from coming through.”

 

He looks to Shiro, who shrugs. It’s his choice. He raises his hands to take the baby, but hesitates. What she’s asking, is he ready for that? He never expected his step into parenthood would come so soon, in fact, he didn’t think it would come at all.

 

“Honerva….” He says with uncertainty.

 

“Please,” She begs, “I know you can give him the life he deserves, I've seen it.”

 

Matt’s mind immediately goes back to the small cottage in the woods with its homely touch of his and Shiro’s love for each other. He looks at Lotor in her arms, and he realizes that he can have everything his other self has, just a little bit in an unorthodox way.

 

Plus, he’s not really alone. He has Shiro, and his sister. There is an endless circle of people around him who care and would be willing to help at a moments notice and suddenly it’s not about whether or not he’s ready.

 

And with one look at Honerva ready and willing to give up everything she’s ever wanted for the good of the universe, how could he say no?

 

“Just tell Lotor,” Honerva says as he eases Lotor gently out of Honerva’s arms, trying to position the small baby comfortably in his awkward arms, “Tell Lotor how much I love him.”

 

The tears start to fall, he can’t hold it in any longer. It’s not fair and it shouldn’t have to be this way. He knows what it means for her to walk through that portal and he vows to himself and to her, “You can count on me.”

 

—

 

They wait a few days near the rift sight to see if there are any disturbances or signs that the rift beasts will come back or that maybe Honerva will return. But Pidge’s sensors never blip, the statistics never change, and eventually they have to leave. Matt holds a sleeping Lotor on the bridge and watches as Daibazaal shrinks until he can’t see it between the darkness of space.

 

Allura finds him there, after they wormhole jump and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. He’s pulled from his vacant stare, feeling strange. For the first time in his life, he feels the sharp dagger of injustice at Honerva’s sacrifice. Shiro was right, he should have forgiven her when he had the chance. Now he’s left, holding her son and wondering if he can love him the way she did, breaking heaven and hell to make sure he was in her arms.

 

It terrifies him.

 

“Are you alright Matt?” She asks gently. He turns to look at her and there is a sadness in her eyes. He had heard from Lance that Allura and Lotor had _something_ between them and seeing him as a baby must be confusing.

 

“I’m fine,” he lies, because Allura doesn’t need him to unload all his woes upon her, “but I imagine this must be pretty weird for you.”

 

She looks down at Lotor in his arms, sound asleep. He doesn’t comment on how she’s mostly avoided him or anyone when they take turns holding him. But she sought him out and maybe she’s ready to make peace.

 

“I won’t lie it is a strange predicament,” She tells him, smiling softly at Lotor before a sound behind them pulls both of their attention. It’s Lance and Shiro, walking into the bridge and Allura smile brightens, “Perhaps for the better?”

 

Matt offers a smile of his own. Shiro had mentioned in passing that Lance held a pretty high torch for the princess and when Lance comes over to pull her away he wonders if maybe she doesn't hold one of her own.

 

“How’s Lotor?” Shiro asks, kissing him on the head and offering a small coo to Lotor. These past few days, Matt has seen a side to Shiro that he never thought he’d see, much less actually thought about. He has been there for Matt, taking his restless nights and complete and utter lack of understanding of how to care for a small person, all in stride. Shiro has told him, _Patience yields focus_ more times than he can count. It’s his paternal tendencies that Matt finds irresistible. Like now, when he easily takes Lotor from Matt as if it were the simplest thing in the world and Lotor yawns as he snuggles into Shiro’s chest. It’s like a dream.

 

“Marry me.”

 

He’s still staring at Shiro, lost in the image of the one person he loves more than anything, cuddling the other person he’s learning to share that love with. Suddenly becoming a father is more work than he ever expected, but when Lotor shares his rare smile with him, Matt thinks his heart will burst.

 

“Yes.”

 

Matt looks up at Shiro, his brows furrowed, “Yes what?”

 

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

 

“I said that out loud?” He panics. He definitely didn’t mean to propose, at least not like this. There were plans, a candlelit dinner or a romantic gesture, something that wasn’t him absentmindedly blurting _marry me_ because he couldn’t control his mouth or his brain when it comes to Shiro.

 

Shiro frowns, “If you don’t want too—“

 

“—No, I do, I just thought I’d be more suave about it…” He mumbles.

 

Shiro leans in and kisses him on the cheek, “We’ll be a family.”

 

A family. There’s a promise behind that word, one that means a stable life to raise Lotor, a quiet life, a long overdue break for the two earthling adults to finally relax.

 

Lotor sneezes himself awake and starts to cry at the injustice.

 

Maybe not as much relaxing as he originally thought.

 

\--

**BONUS**

 

They have the ceremony on Olkarion. It’s small and his parents video chat on a device Pidge made so they could be a part of the wedding. Pidge has taken to tending to Lotor for the wedding, with Keith not leaving her side. To both his and Shiro’s surprise they’ve warmed up to Lotor in a way no one could have expected. Pidge and Keith have declared themselves the best aunt and uncle anyone could ever want and have taken every opportunity to announce it.

 

They are the center of attention but Matt is caught up in Shiro’s vows, “I lost you once, and almost lost you again.” Shiro says, holding Matt’s hands tightly in his own and Matt is swimming in the depths of his eyes. Coran is officiating their wedding, standing next to them but Matt doesn’t see anyone else except for Shiro. “There is no where I want to be if it’s not next to you.” Shiro declares and Matt bites his lip to keep the smile on his face from taking flight and lifting him off the ground. It also breaks the waterworks and he giggle-sobs as he leans in to kiss Shiro. The first of many in their now clear path towards the future.

 

Reiner offers them a house as a wedding gift, and for their service to the universe. It’s a quaint little cottage just outside of the main village and they settle in quickly, mostly because they have nothing to bring with them.

 

It’s one afternoon, after a sleepless night and a cranky Lotor that Matt finds exhaustion catching up with him. He’s carefully measuring the powder to milk ratio on the instructions before finally turning to Shiro, shaking the bottle in his hand, “I think I got the mixture right this time.”

 

“Let’s hope so.” Shiro says, rocking in his chair. Lotor takes the bottle greedily and Matt leans down to kiss Shiro, seeing his opportunity and taking it, “I’m going to step outside for some fresh air.” He says but what he really means is _I need a moment of peace and quiet to think or I’m going to lose it_. Shiro nods, not taking his eyes off Lotor and Matt wishes he had a camera to take a picture.

 

Outside the wind blows gently and he stops to listen to the way it moves through the trees. He sighs, content, but when he opens them something catches his eye. He walks closer and finds a ribbon fluttering gently in the breeze. He carefully untangles it from the tree branch it’s wrapped around. He recognizes it instantly. Pidge had found an obnoxiously pastel-colored _Baby’s First_ book at the space mall but he had lost the ribbon that bound the book almost as soon as he got it, “How did you end up here?” He asks to no one.

 

With the silk securely in his hand, he realizes there’s a memory attached to it. He remembers now. This is the same ribbon Honerva used to tie her hair back. He looks around, half expecting to see her walk through the yard but there’s nothing.

 

A large shadow looms over the house and Matt lifts his hand over his eyes to look up at the sky. The green lion is touching down, it’s metallic joints crunching under its weight as she lands. Pidge emerges a moment later, followed by Lance, Keith, Allura, Hunk and Coran.

 

“I’m here to see my nephew, move aside, favorite aunt coming through.” She yells, pushing Matt out of the way in greeting. Keith is following right behind her, grumbling how he’s the favorite.

 

Lance stops to clap him on the shoulder, a bright smile on his face, “How ya doin’ daddy-o?”

 

Matt cringes, “Please don’t call me that ever again.”

 

“Yeah, it was a little weird, huh.” Lance says, unaffected and likely thinking of other names he can call Matt. Allura passes by, a warm smile and a wave as she follows the others into the house but not before stopping to take Lance’s hand in hers and pulling him along, Coran twisting his moustache right behind them, making comments to the mice at his feet.

 

Matt watches each and every one of them enter his home and he’s not sure his heart can grow any bigger. The ribbon in his hand flutters against his skin and he smiles. He pulls his hair together at his nape and uses the ribbon to secure it.

 

The sun starts to set and it casts his home in a warm glow and as he walks inside, he takes one last look around. “Thank you.” He whispers to the wind a content smile on his face because he’s exactly where he wants to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to scream at me on [tumblr?](http://kunfetti.tumblr.com/).


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